Writing your own Wedding Vows can be a challenging decision, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Here are a few easy tips that can help you in your preparation, not only making your vows memorable but a decision that you won’t regret.
1. Get Approval.
Before you begin jotting down ideas, make sure that the ceremony officiant will allow you to read personal vows on the day. Some Celebrants or Holy Officials require you to recite vows that are specifically traditional, and there are others that would prefer to review the vows in advance, before your ceremony.
2. Make an Early Start.
Ceremonial vows can be a very difficult decision, and can be much the same as public speaking, but expressing yourself on a personal level. This is why it’s a good reason to get started early. Give yourself the time you deserve to write down your emotions and promises for the future. If this is left too late, nervous excitment tends to take hold, give yourself a generous month to plan out what you would like to say without the rush of making plans for the Big Wedding Day. After you’ve organised all of your wedding arrangements, try and get the first draft done in a relaxed environment away from the rush and stress, the best timeline I would recommend is three weeks. That way you will have the final draft completed with a week or so to rehearse.
3. Look for Inspiration.
To get inspired, I recommend looking firstly at some tradional vows, whether religious or spiritual, something that you would like to build onto. These can be united into your body of work and help you with your original words to personalise your vows.
4. The Tone of your Vows.
It’s best to know what sort of tone you’ll be setting for your vows. It can be serious, humourous, romantic, or just out right fun. But the most important thing to remember is it comes from your heart, even if there is a quirky side to your vows remember the seriousness of the promise and the commitment you will be making to your partner by acknoledging this fact.
5. What are the Logistics.
If you and your partner are writing your vows seperately, are you both going to be on the same page e.g. is your partners vows traditional and your’s funny? Is it appropriate to be reviewing the Wedding Vows before the big day? If not, it can be a good idea to send along a copy of both of your vows to a family member or friend for review to make sure they’re the similar same in tone or length.
6. Talk about your Vows.
Talk to your partner about your vows. Set some time aside to discuss what you envision in the relationship for the future, why you both decided to get married, and the importance of your relationship to each other. These can be some of the questions you can consider as well as the time you’ve already spent together during your courtship.
7. Relax and Reflect.
Time alone to relax and reflect often helps with externalising your inner thoughts. This can help you think about your future spouse and all of the time you’ve already spent together. How you really feel, what did you think about him/her when you first met them, when did you realise you were head over heels. All of these questions can be helpful when taking pen to paper, you can be actually suprised with what you come up with.
8. Get Some Ideas.
I highly recommend you look at other couples vows, read poetry and inspirational pieces of writing that you can incorporate into your own words. Certain passages can ring out to you, along with words that can truely make your vows an inspiration.
9. Structure your Vows.
Structuring your work gives you a direction to follow. Jot down a few ideas, often talking about them and vocalising to yourself can help with the outline that you’ll take.
10. Friends and Family.
Remember of course that you will reciting your vows infront of an audience, so keep your vows understandable for everyone. Making vows embarrassing or cryptic leaves everyone feeling embarrassed or makes it hard for everyone to understand and enjoy.
11. Great Timing.
Nobody likes long speeches, so get as much as you can in, in reasonable timing. Your vows are one of the most important and personalised moments of your Wedding Ceremony, but don’t have to be drawn out. Set a time limit that is around one minute. That time will seem much longer on the day with nervous excitement.
12. Practise your Vows out Loud.
Knowing your vows will only come with practice. Say your vows out loud and practice them with the time that you have, this way you will find the words will just flow on the day. And remember to breath while your speaking, you don’t want to be out of breath when your moment comes.